There is an opinion that men should not have nervous breakdowns and to show strong feelings for them is a shame. This belief is untrue and harmful if followed. In a man, just as in a woman, depression can occur at any age and situation that provokes the appearance of negative feelings. How can representatives of the strong half of humanity cope with it? What are some signs of male depression?
Features of male psychology
Depression in men can be more difficult than in women, and have more serious consequences. There are several causes for this type of depressive disorder.
- It’s hard for men to admit mistakes. They often “close”, “hide” from their own insolvency, the risk of committing the wrong action. However, all people tend to make mistakes and the male gender is no exception. To resist this means to be even more convinced of one’s omnipotence, which leads to an increase in the depressive state.
- The psychology of men is hyperresponsive. This is manifested in the fact that most of them believe that they are responsible not only for their behavior, but also for the behavior of loved ones. Hence, men have the habit of controlling children, women, even their own parents. Not all people give in to pressure from the outside. When they begin to resist, a man can be very upset, however, not all of them show their feelings. Due to their suppression and deterrence, depression can occur .
- Most men try to seem better than they are used to consider themselves. Hence the desire to please others, to make everyone around you happy. For this reason, men may experience poorly established contact with their own inner world, which leads to increased anxiety, insecurity, and anxiety.
- Each man appreciates personal freedom very much, therefore, when it seems to him that someone is encroaching on her, he tries to avoid pressure, or “breaks” if the other is energetically stronger. For example, for this reason, fathers and sons “fight”, not giving up to each other the place of the head in the family, competing, defending their opinions and rights. As a result of pressure and misunderstanding, a man experiences many negative emotions, however, he does not always know how to correctly express them in order to protect himself from the appearance of depression.
Causes of Depression in Men
Depressive state does not appear from scratch and has its beginning. As a rule, he is always preceded by stress. The inability to cope with painful emotions that arise as a result of an event or incident affects the objectivity of thinking and the reaction of behavior.
Depression, most often, occurs when the representatives of the stronger sex feel unnecessary, abandoned, they realize that they spent their efforts, time and money in vain on a business that did not bring profit or satisfaction. The feeling of powerlessness to change something, the impossibility of fulfilling a mission, a new environment in which a man cannot find his role, helplessness – all this, too, “breaks” the man emotionally.
Traumatic events in the life of men:
- divorce, illness, loss of someone close;
- dismissal, inability to obtain the desired position;
- temporary and permanent financial difficulties;
- lack of male power in bed;
- average age, retirement;
- forced change of activity, place of residence;
- growing up of children;
- unfulfilled desires;
- Conflict with relatives or spouse
- misunderstanding, failure to fulfill one’s purpose;
- nervous work causing constant overstrain.
What is the suppression of emotions
However, most often, depression does not happen because a crisis has occurred in life, but because of the suppression of negative feelings that need to be expressed. Men hide their true emotions in themselves and pretend that nothing happened or they do not hurt, because they were taught from childhood to be strong, persistent, patient. These are the qualities that make a man a man, give him even more masculinity, attract women.
However, the strong, masculine sides of character, there is also another, “dark” side. Emotions, when they are actively trying to restrain them – not to cry, not to be angry, to hide irritation, pain and resentment – provoke the appearance of psychological defenses. They are needed so that the man feels objectively, meets the expectations of other people – what he was taught in childhood.
The psychological defenses that men use after experiencing stress are: avoidance, attack, ignoring, laughing, leaving. As a rule, men can “leave” for alcohol, silence, to friends, to work, and hobbies. Thus, they save others from their anger, pain, disappointment, because they remember well that “Soldiers do not cry” and “Real men do not behave like that.”
Depression occurs when there are too many suppressed feelings, and there is no strength left to continue to restrain them.
Signs of Male Depression
- Avoidance of any communication. A man becomes closed. He can continue to go to work, do business, be with his family, however, for everyone, he seems to be gone – his answers are stereotyped, he does not show a desire to communicate, he is fenced off from the outside world.
- “Life at work” – may be one of the forms of the course of male depression. “Leaving” in business, he hides painful feelings and emotions inside, not allowing them to appear.
- Loss of appetite, sleep disturbances, physical pain of a different nature can be signs of a depressive disorder.
- Apathy, an indifferent attitude to oneself, one’s health and the same avoiding behavior of the problems of loved ones – when a man doesn’t care how children or spouse feel – is one of the alarming symptoms in changing the male psyche.
- The appearance of a habit of screaming, “breaking off” for nothing, irritability and outbursts of rage are a sign that a man is no longer able to cope with a load of suppressed feelings and they are ready to “go out”.
- Often, the tipping point is the reassessment of values. It can occur at the age when a man retires or in the period between 35 and 45 years. At this time, he seemed to “look back” to understand how much was achieved, and what remained dreams. Assessing himself and his abilities, a man can be very strict towards himself and even provoke depression. The best prevention of this is turning to a therapist at a time when rethinking life turns into overly critical.
Habit of expressing feelings
Wean a man from the habit of being silent and experiencing all the feelings in himself – it is very difficult, and sometimes impossible. It all depends on the personal characteristics of his character and desire to change. Depressive conditions are treated with medications, as well as with the help of psychotherapeutic support. The opportunity for a man to speak heart to heart with a loved one is a good prevention of a nervous breakdown and stress relief.