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7 New Year’s Resolutions (And How To Achieve Them)

January 20, 2015  //  By: Zoe Toriello  //  DISCUSS, Featured, Uncategorized  //  No Comment

2015 is upon us and the resolutions we drunkenly slurred into being at the New Year’s dinner table now must be executed. New year, new you – will you finally make your resolution come true in 2015?

1. “I’m gonna lose 5kg and start eating healthy!” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is definitely my favorite one. The beginning of the year usually falls to be the perfect occasion to start eating clean and detoxing after endless family Christmas events.

The trick: opt for a double cheeseburger with extra bacon and repeat “I will start my diet tomorrow” every day. And don’t forget: you want Coca Cola Zero.

2. “I’m gonna join the gym and get in shape!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Remember: biking to the gym and applying for a membership is not enough to be considered a “workout.” Nor is flirting with the cute guy at CBS Mercury for over an hour after your lecture.

The trick: Motivate yourself with a cupcake. Or seven.

3. “I’m gonna study harder and get all 12s this semester!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas Holidays have come to an end and exam sessions are close to be a reality, again!

The trick: DO NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES start a new TV series on Netflix now. ESPECIALLY not House of Cards or Breaking Bad!

4. “ I’m going to live frugally, and stop spending so much money.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are so many things to spend money on within 365 days: travelling, shopping, partying, investing, shopping…shopping. Saving money hasn’t really been an option so far… next year, perhaps.

The trick: Next time you’re shopping at Marc Jacobs, ask yourself if you really need a seventh pair of black leather boots. Either that, or go to Fugu on a Friday and find an aging bank executive and marry him for some quick cash. #alimony

5. “I’m gonna quit smoking!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOL OK, come on…We’ve heard it a million times before.

The trick: Run up to the 5^th floor, and back, whilst smoking your cigarette – I promise you will not smoke again.

6. “I will manage my stress better.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being a business student can be extremely stressful: exams, job, social life, and hungover group meetings. This year will be different, you tell yourself. Everything’s going to be okay… right guys? GUYS?!

The trick: If you must have a panic attack, refrain from surrounding yourself with sharp, metal objects, and instead try to visualize everything in the world you are grateful for, down to the smallest details. Then go smoke a cigarette.

7. “I’m getting my life back on track, I’m gonna stop drinking.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The trick: Listen, honey, you live in Denmark. Not gonna happen.

 

Whatever resolution you are aiming to bring to life this year, SKÅL to the New Year and to all the resolutions that will once again fail! Remember, it’s the effort that counts.

Have a great 2015.

xx